Far away is all I know

So the darkness comes and there I go

Distant, distant distance between

The now and the then, the you and the me.

I no longer want the darkness to come

I think I’m ready, I think I’m done

Throwing myself into some kind of void

That I’ve made just to avoid

The pain that may come when I love close

Because far away I can watch a ghost

And dream of how it could have been

Without ever feeling and get thin

Thinner, thinnest and never to see

Just what could have been of you and me?

So, I was fading away so true and so fast,

Back to a time never to be relieved in the past.

Though I try and I try to make it all right

I must remember it’s gone in the night

And today is a new day, and one God given

And it’s up to me to find a piece of heaven.

Since God is love and Love is all

I give to you, I jump, I fall

In love each time I remember you.

To give my love with no return is not new

Yet I yearn to have it come back to me

And I will find that you love me, you see.

That’s what I want, that’s what I yearn

And that’s not at all what in my life I learned

Will it change now or do I love the wrong man?

I step each step the best I can.

I’ve given you pieces that belong to me

That nobody has ever wanted to see

And it’s frightening when I realize that

We now can’t even find time to chat.

So what’s it about, tell me please

I give you me, and I give you the keys

To my heart and you seem to leave

As I sit here and grieve

Of all that was and could have been

I’m left all alone, alone once again.

Are you gone? Are you there? I really don’t know

Did you step back awhile or did you just go?

Did my search for the truth send another away?

Once more love washed away today

That’s not what I want, that’s not how it should

Not what is, can be, not what it could

Tears wash my face as I feel my love

Go out to you, fly away like a dove

With the peace it has to offer.

My heart is certainly much softer

That it’s ever been in so very many years;

Today I face my fears and my tears.

This state of unknowing is tearing me down

And brings me to my God, brings me around

To the love He has for me that I give to you

And I pray you know, for you to decide what to do.

I pray that you accept my love and my peace

I just ask that you tell me what you decide, please.


~~jules sortor