walking dark tunnels of my memories

wiping cobwebs and dirt from my hair

when last in these halls i was searching

my self – but i wasnt t here

i saw hidden doors open

exposing nightmares to us all

fear is the wild wave we ride

confusion, resignation, exasperation in all

why must i wander these halls of past dreams

searching instead for my child my offspring

never did i want to take these steps again

desperation overcoming – all that is left – loneliness

bu were you to be found in these tunnels, these dreams

i walked til my feet bled, felt my heart’s blood scream

i walked til my soul fell apart in my hands

i walked til i could not then i walked til i fell

and what i found instead was a God who was giving

and could love you and me just for living

He carried me in his arms warm and strong

back to the life exactly where i belong

and gave comfort to me

that you were well taken care

and would one day return

when the time was upon you

it was all i had – and all i could feel

it had to be enough i no longer had choice

and i loved you from afar, tho you’d no way to know it

and waited for you – and for me heart to heal

~~jules sortor

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